I shared quite an honest and vulnerable post on my Instagram yesterday. It got a great response which I was pleased (and relieved) about. More importantly though I feel it helped people understand a bit more about me and my mindset.
Those who know me and those who have followed me for many years will probably be a bit more aware of what I’m about. I recognise though that I haven’t steadily blogged for a good few years now so it is probably harder for newer followers to gauge what I am even doing online.
Well, I have been blogging nearly ten years now (woah!) and how I blog and what I blog about has certainly changed dramatically. Blogging itself has changed a lot in that time too. Blogs weren’t really heard of back when I started, now you can blog as a career. Which is both crazy and amazing to me.
I love to write. I have so many thoughts going through my head all day and I feel like putting them into context is a necessity. To have this platform to share my thoughts and experiences on means the world to me. The fact that people read it and comment on what I have written is a massive bonus.
So, going forward I want my blog and social media to be about positivity. Body positivity, self love, dealing with anxiety and everything that comes in between. I want to talk about age positivity, single mum positivity, blended family positivity – EVERYTHING!
I plan on being much more open and honest about my thoughts and feelings as well as my struggles. Which is something I never normally share. Not when I’m in midst of it anyway.
When I am feeling down I tend to just go quiet online with the mindset of ‘I will come back when I feel better’ but that isn’t how I should be doing it. Firstly, I am not being honest with those who follow me by hiding the exact experiences I am talking to them about. Secondly, I don’t follow my own god damn advice.
I post images and advise people who may be feeling shit on ways to feel better. I also tell people they should love themselves no matter what and preach about normalising bodies of all shapes and sizes but I continue to look at my own with hate.
I am better than I used to be don’t get me wrong, but am still a working progress. Especially lately. Lately I have really fallen back into a hole of self loathing and self criticism. I haven’t been looking after myself or being kind to myself. I am my own worst enemy, my own biggest critic and I shouldn’t be. I should be my number one fan.
So from now on I am here all the way. Good times and bad times. And I promise to take my own advice every single day. I will look after myself more and be kinder and less critical. I will treat my mind and body with the respect I do all my loved ones.
When I have crappy periods I will document it so those I am speaking to can see it does still happen to me and so I am not just sharing the ‘highlights’ of my life.
I will love my body for the amazing vessel it is. The body that has carried me through life and birthed my daughter. That has always healed up even when I have been extremely ill.
Most importantly I will keep blogging! Writing is a great release for me. It helps me make sense of my thoughts when I am feeling down or anxious so it annoys me I don’t do it when I feel crap. I should! Instead I fall back into old habits like having a glass of wine, eating crap and generally putting off life.
I know I need to push through it when I feel that way. Like getting over an addiction, it is harder on the days you just want to give up. Pushing through is key though.
The most exciting part of this is I will be here with you from now on. We will be going through life, anxiety and self growth together. I won’t just be sharing words based on my experiences, I will be living by them day by day just as I hope you will be.
The words I will be sharing will be based on what I am experiencing there and then instead of stuff I had experienced in the past.
So let’s get started!