What I’ve Discovered About Myself During Isolation.

Day 564357 of lockdown and pretty much every good intention I had in the beginning has now fallen by the wayside. It all started so well too; I planned on getting back in shape and to remodel my house all whilst becoming a first class home schooler.

Alas, that was not meant to be. Turns out that I am actually a bit of a lazy shit.

Here are some of the key things I have learnt about who I really am while quarantined:

I Spend Way Too Much Money on Crap I Don’t Need.

While I am not paying out for parking and diesel to get to work I am saving a small fortune, but am I actually saving it? Am I bugger. I’m now spending a mortgage payment on food each month (which could be down to my gin purchases as well as Savannah’s snacking, I’m not sure). I’ve also bought tons of useless stuff and perusing clothing websites has become my sport. I now have about 15 new outfits and nowhere to wear them as well as a personalised marmite jar, boob stress ball and ‘Hatch Your Own Unicorn’ thing. Savannah has also worked her way through so many craft kits she now has repetitive strain injury and an allergy to glitter.

I Could Be An Alcoholic.

I have now tried every flavour of Whitley Neal gin (other brands are available) and am on first name terms with Cathy in my local offy. Also nothing says ‘secret alcoholic’ more than someone sneaking their recycling out at 10pm, in the dark, so that no one sees what you’re disposing of.

I’m No Teacher.

I take my hats off to teachers. I always have to be honest though, I couldn’t do what they do. But I definitely respect them even more now! Trying to get my one child to concentrate every day is bloody hard work let alone a class of 15 or more. I have also rediscovered just how poor I am at maths and am realising that when I cockily proclaimed to my teacher ‘I will never use any of this in adult life’ I was very fucking wrong. I guess you did have the last laugh in the end Mr Young. Well done.

It Wasn’t That I Didn’t Have Time, I Just Couldn’t Be Bothered.

Don’t get me wrong, I have done some of the home projects that were overdue like clearing out Savannah’s room, under the stairs and the umpteen ‘crap drawers’ I have in this house. My spare room is now filled to the rafters with bags for the charity shop but have I done everything that needs doing here? Nope. Will I have by the time lockdown is over? Also nope. Soz but I just don’t feel motivated every day. Plus I have a child to entertain and home school. Some days I just about stay on top of doing the basic housework and surviving. Most importantly I want to enjoy this extra time with my daughter while I have it. It’s nice to be productive and make the most of the extra time but it’s also nice to binge watch Netflix in bed eating ice cream too.

I’ll NEVER Be That Person That Exercises Every Day.

It’s taken 35 years but I think I am finally accepting that I will never be one of those people who are massively into fitness. I keep expecting it to happen every time I exercise and it hasn’t yet. If it hasn’t happened during lockdown when there isn’t really much else to do then it is never going to happen. That being said, I do enjoy exercise more than I used to. I think because nowadays I do it for the mental impact as appose to trying to look like a Victoria Secret model. I also know I am getting older and can’t get away with not exercising if I want to stay in shape and be healthy. God bless ya Joe Wicks, you’re an enthusiastic bugger and it was fun in the beginning but things change. People Change. Or in my case they don’t change and the novelty soon wears off.

I Need To Be Around People.

I knew this anyway but it has really hit home over the last couple of months: I need other peoples company! I love living on my own but I have contact with other adult humans throughout my normal week. In ‘real life’ (as I now refer to it) time alone is usually what I crave but now I am all face masked out and want to socialise! I am missing going for a coffee and catch up, I am missing date nights and miss letting my hair down with the girls. Honestly, at this point I will even be excited when the charity shops reopen to offload my hoards of bags. And not just because I get my spare room back.

I Don’t Just Wear Make Up ‘For Me’.

I will always defend the notion that women can do and wear whatever the hell they wish regardless of shape or age, whether that’s donning miniskirts in your sixties or never dying out your greys. Women should always do stuff for themselves, not to please everyone else or conform to some standard. That being said, it turns out that I wasn’t wearing make up solely for me in my every day life. Whoops. Since lock down began my make up bag has been gathering dust, I just don’t see the point of wearing it when the only highlight of my week is a trip to Tesco. I’m definitely not someone who is horrified at the idea of someone seeing me without make up but I do love how amazing I feel when I go out or go to work with my hair and make up done. It makes me feel complete. I also like my colleagues and don’t feel they deserve to see my face au natural that early in the morning. No one deserves that.

What have you learnt about yourself during lockdown?