I feel it is one of the most overused bits of advice when it comes to mental health and while yes, it is true to some extent, it is also ridiculously misleading.
You know the advice I’m talking about, it goes something along the lines of:
‘By changing your mind, you’ll change your life’.
Sounds simple right?
All you gotta do if you suffer from any kind of mental health illness is stop thinking that way and it will go away. Who knew?
Ok, I’m being a tad pedantic.
YES, your thoughts have a massive impact on your mindset, attitude, outlook and wellbeing. I know that when I make an effort to look at things from a more positive perspective, I feel much better than when I let my negative thoughts run away with me.
Also, have you ever noticed how pessimistic people tend to have more bad shit happen to them? It isn’t because they are more unlucky than other people, they just focus more on the bad stuff and have a more negative outlook.
I’m not saying having a positive mindset doesn’t makes a huge difference to how you approach life.
The point I want to make today is that it is not easy to just ‘change your mind’. If it were, people with addictions wouldn’t need the 12 steps or rehab. Therapists wouldn’t make a living. Diet brands wouldn’t exist. People wouldn’t be taking anti depressants.
What you really need to focus on is your behaviour. If you change your behaviour, a new mindset will follow.
It isn’t easy. Your mind will be there feeding you negative thoughts. Encouraging you to ‘do it tomorrow’ when faced with an important task or that you ‘aren’t good enough’ to go for that promotion.
That is why you need to focus on behavioural changes first.
By fighting against those thoughts and going against the grain, you are teaching your mind new habits.
People who go for 10k runs, start a new hobby or lose 6 stone in weight didn’t just wake up with that motivation. There will be many days they just want to give up but push through those negative thoughts and keep that behaviour going. Knowing that if they do, their mind will be grateful for it in the end.
I for one can hand on heart say that focusing on behavioural changes to help shift my mindset has changed my perspective and life this year. Especially in recent months.
Our minds are creatures of habit.
Over the last couple of months I have just done the things I want or need to and not thought about it. This has massively boosted my mindset.
By not giving my mind a chance to think negatively and put me off, I have achieved more, made positive changes to my life and made myself feel happier.
So, the next time you feel shitty because you can’t change your thoughts or how you’re feeling. Or you wonder why your mind is motivating you stay in bed rather than get up and embrace the day, please don’t feel bad.
It is normal and it is hard to change a lifelong mindset. Just get yourself up, do it, and reap the benefits after.